I'm jealous of your bromance
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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