whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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