My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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