She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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