I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize