His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
