sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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