Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
