My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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