And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
