Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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