Nicole vs. Life
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize