Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
