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STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize