Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
