I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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