i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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