my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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