And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
