FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize