Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
