Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
