So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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