Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
