The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
