Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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