you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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