So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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