Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
