You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
did i just pee glitter
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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