Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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