sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You ate ashes out of my bong
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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