He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize