Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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(618): View more from Illinois

do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to find a taint.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

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(316): View more from Kansas

He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him

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(630): View more from Illinois

I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"

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(773): View more from Illinois

Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.

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