Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize