Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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