And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
