I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
