i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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