these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
