what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize