i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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