I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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