Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
