nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
