She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize