It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
