Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
