I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
