I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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