Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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