I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
there is puke in my bra ... again
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