Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize