i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
