Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
