Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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