You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just found a bag of teeth...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
