Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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