You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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