so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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