About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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