I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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