Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
