i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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