I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
